Forward

Yesterday, I wrote after a very encouraging email. Approved. Later, in the evening (morning in Taiwan) I got an email with the subject line 'get started!' I had asked if we should go ahead and do our home study update when it runs out (which is soon anyway) or if we should just wait so that it would last longer ie: do it right before we get a referral. The email message that followed was even more exciting than the subject:

"Please get started as soon as possible!  You are very close!!!"

Well that's a lot faster than we expected! Our application approval took 3 months instead of the regular 1. This next part, waiting to hear when to start our referral because we're getting close, usually takes 8-16 months... and it took us maybe 8 hours? I'm not complaining!

It is a strange phenomena to ignore the part of the brain that longs for your child. This part of your family you've never met. Ignoring your longing is a coping mechanism because nothing about international adoption is predictable. I didn't even realize that I had pushed all of those thoughts and emotions towards the back of my brain, until it was go time. My friend always tells me it's not for the faint of heart, and she is right. It might seem cold or the opposite of nurturing but like I said it's a coping mechanism.

Then, every once in a while, it's go time! Get  as much paper work and appointments completed in the smallest amount of time so that the part that you can control isn't the part that slows anything down. That's where we're at right now - update background checks, intervention checks, medicals and the home study as fast as we can so we can send it to the Alberta government to re-approve us. For a different country this time (more on that another day). Then we'll send it to Taiwan and wait for a referral. We'll do lots of immigration work so that when they say she's ours there will be no more waiting. Except maybe the day of travelling to her :)

My same friend refers to this up & down as 'Hurry Up and Wait' (She coined this phrase based on her families experience with international adoption.) It couldn't be a more perfect way to describe this process.