Sooo... How's it going?

The most frequently asked question these days! Honestly it's going well, better than I expected most of the time. She is a two year old and she is smart and fun and funny and we love her. She's a pretty good lite sleeper and we're finding more and more success with potty training everyday!

Big brother is also doing well, he's had a few moments of, "does anybody even know I'm here!?!" Which broke my heart, but he is the most adoring big brother I've ever seen and watching their little relationship grow makes my heart full! He's super helpful and can carry a conversation which is helpful to my sanity most of the time. He does love to be affectionate and she would rather have personal space from anybody except me.

Attachment feels like it's going well most days and I've realized I haven't gotten to explain to everyone why they can't just scoop up our sweet girl. Here's why: she is learning who her mommy and daddy are. We met her only a month ago and haven't had the chance to be consistant for her as long as she's needed yet to realize that we are her forever people. I read recently that when a child comes home, their emotional attachment to their parents begins at age 0. So even though she's 2, she's learning that we will always be the ones to feed her, make her safe, and loved. That's why even though it feels awkward we've asked everyone to let us be the only ones to hold her, pick her up, or give her anything (literally in her hands :)) for the first little while, a few months probably. We have such an incredible family and community that it's hard to be patient and wait for her to develop those relationships too. But for her best interest, this is what we're doing. We'll let people know when it's ok because we can't wait for her to know how widely she's loved! In the meantime we're doing our best to show her!

I'll hopefully have a chance to update about the final stages of our adoption and our trip another day.

Back on track.

Here we go again! We thought we'd be back in court maybe by the end of May, and now it could be in the next couple of weeks. Maybe even just go straight to the decrees? Who knows? We hope for the best! All the while, our mental state is greatly influenced by our many experiences with screeching halts. We are moving forward again- that is the best thing. So we pray, and trust the timing that is not our own.

Waiting for the Rainbow

Here's the thing, right now we are in a storm. A big one. Our adoption is the hardest emotionally it has ever been. Our house is between tenants and the exiters are making everything extremely difficult. Matt's schedule while in school for the next two months is kinda crappy. Among other minor daily/weekly/monthly struggles we have found ourselves enduring a storm, the stresses have amounted. Mind you no one is dying. Knock on wood. So often I am aware of the storm and it is hard to remember the promise of a rainbow. I am trying hard to remember. This is only a season. I wish my life was boring :)

Roadblock

Here's the thing: Adoption is hard. Sometimes, even though you're waiting for the very best present ever, it can suck. Today is one of those days. Our case went to court, we've heard that COURT is the most anticlimactic thing in this whole process- it's 15 minutes and then you wait for your decrees and your visa- pass go collect $200. Well not for us. Maybe it's sad that we even half expected this because we were on a roll which meant we were about due for a roadblock. Everything will be easy God said. NOT. Did I think that an intelligent God would give this baby with a complicated story to a family who did not have a heart for advocacy? To someone who is less determined than all the opposers? To a family who is not well practiced in the area of patience- practiced doesn't have to mean you like it...(Is there an adoptive family without these qualities?) Only if He wanted to teach them to have those virtues. Yes. Stubbornness can be a virtue. Some people call it perseverance. And we have it. God picked us. God picked her. If only people would get out of the way. Lucky for us, we also have really good people. People praying for us, giving us direction, advocating for us and most importantly we have people loving our our kid for us.

I worked on her room a little this week, in the anticipation of court and forward movement. And I had this old canvas that I wanted to rework to go in her room. After I read how our court hearing went this morning, I prayed. And what came to mind was this (for Ellinor...and us)- 'May the Lord bless you and KEEP you, may the Lord make His face to SHINE upon you and be GRACIOUS to you. May the Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you PEACE.' And now it's hanging in her room. (It maybe isn't done yet, we'll see.)

 Pray with us. The judge is requiring more documentation specific to our case and when we have it we will have to reapply to get another court date. Feels a bit like this:

 *Please note that this is the exception to the rule, this is just how our adoption is proceeding. We want our baby home!

We got a court date!

On Saturday morning I woke up to a facebook message saying  that we have a court date!!! February 21st in Taiwan (approx. 8:20pm February 20th here!) We can't wait! People also have been getting their first decrees much quicker than before! We are so hopeful that our girl will be home this summer. Every time we are discouraged and get to thinking- maybe it won't even be in 2014, everything flips and we hope that we'll be ready! Always trusting in God's perfect timing because I cannot coordinate this! Pray with us in February! After our court date we'll need a first decree, a final decree, then a visa. Then plane tickets!!!

Peace

We are currently experiencing a minor set back, a sort of delay in the Taiwanese courts. Am I discouraged? A little. I have no reason to lie. But more than that I'm hopeful. Hoping for the day I hold her. And try not to cry so many happy tears as to frighten this child. Until then, I don't pray for patience, God grants me patience and I most likely even take that for granted. I don't take for granted the amazing family who is loving our daughter unconditionally. Loving her around the clock so she can love us and love Jesus. We love that little girl. She is part of us already. She makes an appearance in every family picture J draws. She is familiar to us. Like we've known each other since the beginning. She belongs with us making pancakes on Sunday mornings. Not yet. I don't feel impatient. I feel excited. So while I have all the thoughts of what things will be like, I pray for peace. Because there isn't anything I can do at this moment to tell any judge that the information s/he already has is enough. I just pray for peace in my soul so I can enjoy every moment of our family including Her. Even before she is home. I don't want to miss anything because I was worried about something else. And if that doesn't give you an idea of how good the people advocating for us are, I don't know what will. I am grateful and patient and peaceful. At this moment. And hopefully in the moments to come, God willing.

A little closer!

When your child is on the opposite side of the world they are not close. But there are things that bring you just a little closer-like skype! Last night we got to skype Ellinor and the wonderful people that are caring for her and we felt close. The Dunns were so generous with their time and are generous in love to our daughter and we are so grateful. Beyond words grateful, it's a heart thing.
Yesterday Holly took our case to court! The next step is to hear when our actual court date will be and we are so excited! We've known our daughter for 7 months and now things are happening!
We also got a call from the Orphan's Hope Grant people last night to ask if we'd like to be entered in a draw for funding. Yes we would!
We also got to learn so much about Ellinor; how big she is, how close she is to walking (I think before xmas!) and her first word! We got to hear a good belly laugh when she played peek a boo and see her in the super cute outfit we sent (you know the one with the boots? to a tropical country? haha!) We also learned how divinely we have been matched together.

Ellinor's first word is Lai lai which means 'come' in Mandarin. We're coming baby girl!